Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Tag Questions

Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns

Tag Questions —
are little questions added on to the end of a statement that change it into a question. They are also referred to as "tie downs." Tag Questions are similar to the previous pattern the "Resistance Dodge," but different.
Rather than dodging resistance, with tag questions you are endeavoring to get agreement, aren't you?
They soften a statement into a question, don't they?
They can be very useful, or they can be overdone and obnoxious, can they not?

Tonality is again a HUGE component in the same way we talked in the earlier post entitled: "Patterns of Indirect Suggestion." If you lift the pitch of your voice at the end of the sentence, it is heard as a question. Tag questions are, of course, questions, I know, but they are responded to as a question when you lift your pitch upwards like a question. Specifically meaning the person tends to go inside their mind and search around to find whether they agree or not. Conversely, if you drop your vocal pitch toward the end of the sentence, it is responded to as a command. The listener will tend to do less internal processing and simply agree.

Do it for yourself and see what I mean.

Say the above examples first with the question tonal shift up and then with the command tonal shift downward. Notice the difference.

(Now do this: read the last two sentences aloud, starting with "Say the above...", and as you say the last sentence lift the pitch of your voice upwards at the end so it sounds like a question. "Notice the difference?"
And then say those two sentences again but drop the pitch of your voice right at the end so it sounds like a command, "Notice the DIFFERENCE."

Can you begin to appreciate the vast difference that makes?

There are times when you WANT the question effect and other times when you want the command effect. Notice what happens in your own mind when you hear them in the different ways. Imagine when and how those differences will be useful.

Time Shifts
You can also use tag questions to very subtly shift time perception.

In the following example how I begin by pacing the client's experience, use a tag question to shift the time frame of the client's issue from the present to the past... and then utilize tag questions to shift the focus:

"Yes, that is a terrible problem, wasn't it? It's nice to be getting some distance from it, haven't you?"


Many people enjoy changing the time frame from present to the past, or past to future, etc, haven't they? Won't you?

Now, write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write them out. Practice. Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift.

Write at least ten and then use them. Use them on salesmen, use them on your children, use them with clients or your boss. Just go out there and use them! See for yourself. And remember, when you use them you own them, don't you?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Resistance (is Futile)

Ericksonian Language Patterns
This installment features two different ways of dancing with resistance. In the pattern I call "The Resistance Dodge," when your client exhibits resistance you offer a tag statement that is really a bind. Stops them in their proverbial tracks.
With the "Resistance Pace" you use their resistance the way an Aikido expert would use an opponent's own weight.

The Resistance Dodge
— After an Embedded Command add the tag, "or not." This is particularly effective when you time your delivery to when you see the resistance begin to show in their physical affect. You'll be pacing them and dispelling resistance at the same time.

"I'm wondering if you will accept this embedded command...or not."
"And as you read these words you fully appreciate how you can use these...or not...yet... you can."


The Resistance Pace


The word "try" has failure virtually presupposed. ("Gee Dad, I tried") So telling a person to Try to resist your request implies that they may try but they will fail.

"Try to resist the deepening experience of comfort and relaxation as you listen to my voice."

To your child:
"Try to keep your eyes open as you listen to this bedtime story."

So, now, you might want to take a minute and write your own examples. I have often found that the best way to learn is by doing. Don't you agree? Or Not.

Write at least ten examples you could actually use with a client or someone else.

Then practice using them in real life.

Use them on salesmen:
"How great that you will give me the lowest price ever... or not."


Of course, you can and should combine them with the patterns we've already gone over. They work beautifully together:
"How great that you will give me the lowest price ever... or not. I wonder how soon you'll know you can do that."


Have fun. Be respectful.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Suggestions Orienting towards the Future

Ericksonian Language Patterns
Milton Erickson once likened traditional psychotherapy to “psychological archeology.” He didn't see much point in spending too much time analysing a patient's past and trying to find out the reasons "why" they were displaying certain behaviors. He saw these behaviors as habits. I like to call them patterns. He told stories to illustrate his point, sometimes evoking his early life on the farm and lessons learned thereon. As an example, he might describe how, on the farm, he learned that when you shovel the waste from the animal stalls you put it out behind the barn and cover it over with straw. And you quickly learn not to go poking around back there. You let the hay lay.
Thus, in Ericksonian hypnosis we spend more effort orienting clients toward the future and towards solutions.
You can indirectly get your client to visualize or otherwise imagine the future via most of these collected patterns, and the following openings are useful:
“You may not know if… “
“What happens when you…”
“How would it feel if you…”
“Can you imagine… “
“You probably already know… ”

Here are some complete examples (remember the words in bold are said with your tonal shift):
“You may not know if you will go into a deep trance when I count to ten.”
“What happens when you learn new ways of responding?”
“How would it feel to close your eyes and drift into a very comfortable
trance…now?

You could even join a few together, as in the following:
“You may not know if you’ll really enjoy the feeling of control that comes when
you quit smoking, but can you imagine what you would do at the office tomorrow
as a non-smoker?”

So, now, write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write
them out. Practice. Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift.
(See July 19th's post if you need more clarity on that) Write at least ten. Twenty is
better. You probably already know that you can utilize the few sentence
openings offered on this page and then go from there.

Use them on teachers: "How nice will it feel when you give me a high grade?"
Use them on newsboys: "Can you imagine how grateful I’ll be when you place
the paper safely on the front porch
tomorrow morning?”
Use them on your spouse, your teammates, your party members, your clients.
Use them playfully and respectfully.
Isn't it nice to know you can do both at the same time?

Monday, August 4, 2008

Embedded Questions

Ericksonian Language Patterns —
Embedded Questions are the same thing as embedded commands only different. They are often really statements but are responded to consciously as a question. This is because their grammatical structure is that of a question, but your tonality in delivering them is that of a command. (In most examples below I'll omit the question mark.)

"I wonder if you can tell the difference."
"I'm curious as to how you will be able to use embedded questions in your life."

Notice the implied question in the sentence openings, "I'm wondering if... I'm curious as to..." etc.

(Remember that without shifts in tonality, etc., there is no command at all. You must shift your tonality in a way that is noticeable and analogous to a command. You are telling them to DO something.)

A. Adding their Name
Just as in embedded commands, embedded questions can be made more powerful if you insert their name into the sentence structure just before (or after ) the embedded command.
"I wonder if one can, Elizabeth, feel comfortable in new situations."
"Do you think it's possible that a person could, Phillip, notice a growing sense of distance from one's problems."
"Can you, listen intently, Bob, to everything that I say?"


B. "Now"
Again, "now" is not a magic word. And, in the same way we talked about them for embedded commands, you can use them for embedded questions.
"Is it possible you might want to enjoy that meaningful pause . . . now."


So, now, write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write them. Practice saying them out loud with the proper tonal shift. Practice delivering them to a human being. Write at least ten. Twenty is better. I wonder if you'll find that you utilize the few sentence openings offered on this page and then go from there.

Do you think you could use them on waitresses? "I wonder if you could bring me a cup of coffee."
Could you use them on bus drivers? "I was curious if you would be able to... let me out at the corner."
Wouldn't it be fun to use them on your kids, your friends, your clients, your customers?
What level of facility would you develop if you were to use them, courteously, and enjoy the process?