PLEASE NOTE!
This blog is moving! Actually, this blog has Moved!
Please make note of the new address and use it from now on:
www.dougobriensblog.com
It's actually easier.
It gives me more flexibility and the ability to make the blog better.
Please forgive and inconvenience.
See you at the new address!
Doug
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Committing the Crime of your own Uniqueness
A long time ago I had the good fortune of needing therapy. Of course, such life passages happen to all of us, but what was fortunate for me is I fell into the office of Jungian Analyst David Bennett.
David was great. From day one he offered me insights and ways of looking and thinking about life's journey that will stay with me forever. Among them was what he called "the Renegade factor."
As I'm sure you are aware, Carl Jung classified different human characteristics in terms of "archetypes," perceiving that we can gain great understanding of our selves and the forces that drive us by recognizing them in terms of these symbolic representations. It is also important to note that, according to Jung, the most important thing for a person to do in life is to "individuate." In Jungian psychology, Individuation is "the gradual integration and unification of the self through the resolution of successive layers of psychological conflict. "
More easily said it's to be yourself. But really yourself.
Steven Gilligan said some of the power that Milton Erickson had was that he was "totally comfortable with his own weirdness." So, when you were with him, there was that implicit permission to be comfortable with your own weirdness. I think it might be true, that perhaps Dr. Erickson had individuated and thus was an exemplar of that way of being.
But let's get back to David.
David Bennett said this... He said there will be times, along your path toward individuation, that your true self will require that you renege on the expectations of society, even of those people closest to you, and "commit the crime of your own uniqueness."
In other words, you might sometimes have to take actions in your life that are true to you, true to your soul, right for you and your genuine personal best interests, and these actions might really piss somebody else off. But you have to do it. Someone may hate you, but you have to live with that. To them, from their perception, your actions are tantamount to committing a crime. "You said you would! You promised!" But you are being lead by the renegade archetype down a path that perhaps no one else can appreciate, but is right , is necessary for you.
It's hard.
But you do it because you must.
You do it because it is the right thing to do... for you.
And you deserve it.
You're entitled to it.
.
David was great. From day one he offered me insights and ways of looking and thinking about life's journey that will stay with me forever. Among them was what he called "the Renegade factor."
As I'm sure you are aware, Carl Jung classified different human characteristics in terms of "archetypes," perceiving that we can gain great understanding of our selves and the forces that drive us by recognizing them in terms of these symbolic representations. It is also important to note that, according to Jung, the most important thing for a person to do in life is to "individuate." In Jungian psychology, Individuation is "the gradual integration and unification of the self through the resolution of successive layers of psychological conflict. "
More easily said it's to be yourself. But really yourself.
Steven Gilligan said some of the power that Milton Erickson had was that he was "totally comfortable with his own weirdness." So, when you were with him, there was that implicit permission to be comfortable with your own weirdness. I think it might be true, that perhaps Dr. Erickson had individuated and thus was an exemplar of that way of being.
But let's get back to David.
David Bennett said this... He said there will be times, along your path toward individuation, that your true self will require that you renege on the expectations of society, even of those people closest to you, and "commit the crime of your own uniqueness."
In other words, you might sometimes have to take actions in your life that are true to you, true to your soul, right for you and your genuine personal best interests, and these actions might really piss somebody else off. But you have to do it. Someone may hate you, but you have to live with that. To them, from their perception, your actions are tantamount to committing a crime. "You said you would! You promised!" But you are being lead by the renegade archetype down a path that perhaps no one else can appreciate, but is right , is necessary for you.
It's hard.
But you do it because you must.
You do it because it is the right thing to do... for you.
And you deserve it.
You're entitled to it.
.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Binds
Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns
Binds come in two forms, single and double. Seems like most people have heard of double binds and we'll get to that next time. Right now we're going to talk about the elegantly effective single bind. It goes something like this:
More Specifically it is this:
If you link their current behavior to your outcome for them, you are putting them in a bind.
As you read this, dear reader, I could say to you,
If your roommate is watching TV, you could say,
If your agent is carefully reading the contract, you could say,
One of my favorite binds is when the client is awakening from the trance experience, (by the way, when a client is in this state they are exceedingly open to suggestion) I say to them,
Now, don't continue reading unless you're ready to write your own examples.
Have I mentioned that the best way to learn is by doing? To Practice, won't you.
Perhaps, by now, you're already putting all the different patterns you've already learned together into a whole induction, or not.
I wonder what would happen it you were to say them aloud to another human being with the proper tonal shift?
What if you were to...use them this week?
Here's an idea: REVIEW. Use all the patterns learned thus far once a day, everyday this week and thoroughly enjoy the process.
There's an ancient Chinese proverb that says
I always say, use them and they are YOURS.
Binds come in two forms, single and double. Seems like most people have heard of double binds and we'll get to that next time. Right now we're going to talk about the elegantly effective single bind. It goes something like this:
Don't (x) unless you want (y).
More Specifically it is this:
"Don't (their current behavior) unless you really want (your outcome for them)."
If you link their current behavior to your outcome for them, you are putting them in a bind.
As you read this, dear reader, I could say to you,
"Don't read this unless you really want to be unreasonably happy."
If your roommate is watching TV, you could say,
"Don't watch TV unless you want to call my mother for me."
If your agent is carefully reading the contract, you could say,
"Don't read this contract carefully unless you want to be confident it's everything you've been looking for."
One of my favorite binds is when the client is awakening from the trance experience, (by the way, when a client is in this state they are exceedingly open to suggestion) I say to them,
"Don't open your eyes unless you are really ready.. to see things in a completely new way... now."
Now, don't continue reading unless you're ready to write your own examples.
Have I mentioned that the best way to learn is by doing? To Practice, won't you.
Perhaps, by now, you're already putting all the different patterns you've already learned together into a whole induction, or not.
I wonder what would happen it you were to say them aloud to another human being with the proper tonal shift?
What if you were to...use them this week?
Here's an idea: REVIEW. Use all the patterns learned thus far once a day, everyday this week and thoroughly enjoy the process.
There's an ancient Chinese proverb that says
I hear and I forget
I see and I remember
I do and I understand.
I always say, use them and they are YOURS.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Rail Trail run fun
I've lost count of how many marathons I've run. It's under 18 and more than 12.
Along the way I've run thousands of miles in an effort to get in shape enough to run them well and ultimately qualify for Boston. The thing is, I can't really do that anymore. I mean, never say never, but it would appear my calf muscles have other ideas. Every time I get competitive and try to race or do too much, they cramp or tear or do something dreadfully painful.
So, what to do?
I am endeavoring to embrace my limitations... to thoroughly enjoy what I CAN do.
The other day I was out running ( I still call it running although I believe many people can walk at a faster clip) along this beautiful rail trail in upstate New York. And with every step I took I attempted to just be in the moment and savor the full sensory experience along the way. It was like what Stephen Wolinsky calls a "no-trance trance." In other words, not trancing out by age regression or imagining the future, but being simply in the here and now - which is for most people an altered state.
Hence a "no-trance trance."
It's a lovely practice... listening to the breathing, feeling the feet on the changing surface of the trail, appreciating all the different colors of the leaves and the dirt and the stones, smelling the variety of fragrances as I pass streams and farm land and cut grass.
Dave Dobson used to call himself a "De-Hypnotist." He said that people were in trance most of the time and it was his job to wake them up. Not to "hypnotize" them but to pop them out of their old, habitual trances and get them to adopt new, more productive trances.
I think Steve Wolinsky would agree. In his book, "Trances People Live," he draws a parallel between what meditators call Samadhi and Erickson called a "Therapeutic Trance." Saying they were in fact the same state - what Wolinsky termed the "No-Trance trance."
Maybe this is what my calf muscles have been trying to get me to do.
Sly devils.
.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Truisms
Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns
Truisms are like bread and butter... you can make a meal out of them if you have to. Truisms are simply statements that are true for just about everybody, AND are a perfect setup for embedded commands. Keeping in mind, of course, that an embedded command comes from altering your vocal tonality and accompanying analog marking.
As an example you can make Truisms about Time.
You can create Truisms about Sensations.
(NOTE: In some of these examples there is more than one language pattern happening. Like in that last sentence there is also a pattern called "Switching Referential Index." According to proper grammatical rules, the sentence should read, "Everyone knows how it feels when they're drifting off to sleep..." But, in Ericksonian Hypnosis you sometime break the rules of grammar in order to get a good embedded command. In this case I'm telling my client, "You are drifting off to sleep.")
You can create Truisms about Abilities.
Truisms, because they are true statements are great opportunities for adding the 'you know' clause. While people often overdo the clause "you know" in sloppy grammar, when used purposely it implies in an ambiguous way that you knew this already.
Now, you're probably wondering how you can get good at using truisms.
People can, you know, write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write them out. Practice.
Like the New York City cop who was asked, "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"
"Practice, Practice, Practice."
Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift.
Use them on bank tellers: "Some people will, sooner or later, feel good and smile."
Use them on your kids, your parents, your servants, your masters.
Use them with respect and courtesy.
Have fun.
Truisms are like bread and butter... you can make a meal out of them if you have to. Truisms are simply statements that are true for just about everybody, AND are a perfect setup for embedded commands. Keeping in mind, of course, that an embedded command comes from altering your vocal tonality and accompanying analog marking.
As an example you can make Truisms about Time.
"Sooner or later people always go in trance when sitting in that chair listening to me."
"Sometimes, you can go into trance with your eyes wide open."
You can create Truisms about Sensations.
"Most people really enjoy the feeling of a nice hot shower."
"Everyone knows how it feels when you're drifting off to sleep and you're not quite awake and not quite asleep."
(NOTE: In some of these examples there is more than one language pattern happening. Like in that last sentence there is also a pattern called "Switching Referential Index." According to proper grammatical rules, the sentence should read, "Everyone knows how it feels when they're drifting off to sleep..." But, in Ericksonian Hypnosis you sometime break the rules of grammar in order to get a good embedded command. In this case I'm telling my client, "You are drifting off to sleep.")
You can create Truisms about Abilities.
"You don't have to learn how to employ these skills to feel confident."
"You are able to relax you hands completely."
"A person is able to make profound changes from just one session."
Truisms often start with soft phrases.
"Some People...You may...One might...You could...learn all sorts of different possibilities for truisms."
Truisms, because they are true statements are great opportunities for adding the 'you know' clause. While people often overdo the clause "you know" in sloppy grammar, when used purposely it implies in an ambiguous way that you knew this already.
"People can, you know...learn rapidly and easily, even without knowing that they're learning."
Now, you're probably wondering how you can get good at using truisms.
People can, you know, write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write them out. Practice.
Like the New York City cop who was asked, "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"
"Practice, Practice, Practice."
Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift.
Use them on bank tellers: "Some people will, sooner or later, feel good and smile."
Use them on your kids, your parents, your servants, your masters.
Use them with respect and courtesy.
Have fun.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Quotes
Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns
Early in my NLP/Hypnosis training I was in Santa Cruz, California, attending a workshop. After class one day I walked along the beach with a more advanced student who knew a lot about language patterns. When I asked her how to begin gaining facility with them she turned to me and said, "you'll find that the pattern called 'Quotes' is one of the easiest, yet most effective, patterns of all."
She went on to explain, "When you quote somebody else, your listener doesn't realize that you're indirectly giving him or her a direct command. It goes right in!"
Now, I wasn't sure if I believed her or not so I put it to the test. I'd be at a restaurant and say to the waiter, "my father always told me, 'just make sure the food's served hot and everyone will be happy.'" I'd ask a cop for directions and say, "My travel agent told me 'Always ask a cop, because you're really nice to tourists.'"
When you start to learn about "Quotes" you'll notice them everywhere.
Storytellers will put them in the middle of a story or metaphor, where one character addresses another. "...and the cobbler said to the boy, 'Remember, you're only as happy as you make up your mind to be.'"
They will have the quote appear as the thought or sudden realization of the main character. "...and Alice suddenly realized that it's not how hard you work, it's how you work hard."
Quotes can be attributed to famous people. (It is likely even better when they actually said it.) "Benjamin Franklin always said, 'The more you practice, the luckier you'll be.'"
Referring to a previous client is useful in a variety of ways. Milton Erickson would often talk about an earlier patient and use the quotes pattern to give suggestions. "And as my client listened to me talk, she realized how true the old saying is that, 'when you are in trance, you learn rapidly and effectively.'"
Please note that in the above examples, the part of the quote that is the suggestion is put in the second person, present tense. In other words, because you want to tell your listener to do something, make sure the suggestion is in the form of "you do this," or "you learn that." NOT "she did this," or "he learned that."
So, now, I wonder what would happen if you were to write your own examples. Aristotle once said, "The best way to learn is by doing."
So maybe you'll want to write them out.
Maybe you'll Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift. (See the earlier post about tonality if you need more clarity on that)
I'd write at least ten. You might want to write more. Or not.
Be careful when you use them with your spouse, but playfully use them with your pet (they'll like it).
Most certainly use them with your clients.
Because as Milton Erickson once said that Mark Twain once wrote, "Don't put off til tomorrow that you can just as easily do the day after that."
;-)
Early in my NLP/Hypnosis training I was in Santa Cruz, California, attending a workshop. After class one day I walked along the beach with a more advanced student who knew a lot about language patterns. When I asked her how to begin gaining facility with them she turned to me and said, "you'll find that the pattern called 'Quotes' is one of the easiest, yet most effective, patterns of all."
She went on to explain, "When you quote somebody else, your listener doesn't realize that you're indirectly giving him or her a direct command. It goes right in!"
Now, I wasn't sure if I believed her or not so I put it to the test. I'd be at a restaurant and say to the waiter, "my father always told me, 'just make sure the food's served hot and everyone will be happy.'" I'd ask a cop for directions and say, "My travel agent told me 'Always ask a cop, because you're really nice to tourists.'"
When you start to learn about "Quotes" you'll notice them everywhere.
Storytellers will put them in the middle of a story or metaphor, where one character addresses another. "...and the cobbler said to the boy, 'Remember, you're only as happy as you make up your mind to be.'"
They will have the quote appear as the thought or sudden realization of the main character. "...and Alice suddenly realized that it's not how hard you work, it's how you work hard."
Quotes can be attributed to famous people. (It is likely even better when they actually said it.) "Benjamin Franklin always said, 'The more you practice, the luckier you'll be.'"
Referring to a previous client is useful in a variety of ways. Milton Erickson would often talk about an earlier patient and use the quotes pattern to give suggestions. "And as my client listened to me talk, she realized how true the old saying is that, 'when you are in trance, you learn rapidly and effectively.'"
Please note that in the above examples, the part of the quote that is the suggestion is put in the second person, present tense. In other words, because you want to tell your listener to do something, make sure the suggestion is in the form of "you do this," or "you learn that." NOT "she did this," or "he learned that."
So, now, I wonder what would happen if you were to write your own examples. Aristotle once said, "The best way to learn is by doing."
So maybe you'll want to write them out.
Maybe you'll Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift. (See the earlier post about tonality if you need more clarity on that)
I'd write at least ten. You might want to write more. Or not.
Be careful when you use them with your spouse, but playfully use them with your pet (they'll like it).
Most certainly use them with your clients.
Because as Milton Erickson once said that Mark Twain once wrote, "Don't put off til tomorrow that you can just as easily do the day after that."
;-)
Friday, September 26, 2008
Pacing and Leading
Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns
In an expanded form, 'Pacing and Leading' can be used as a trance induction in and of itself. The general concept of pacing and leading is central to Erickson's work. You establish a rapport with a person when you pace their experience.
In this language pattern, you make note of true, experiential facts (or 'wonder' about them) then connect them with a suggestion. Salesmen might say that you are setting up a 'yes' frame. People will tend to go with the flow of affirmative responses.
I used this pattern frequently when I used to work at New York's Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital's Department of Complementary Medicine. I was there as a Hypnotherapist to assist people in feeling better about their operations, facilitate healing and recovery, develop new, healthier patterns of living (e.g. becoming a non-smoker) and to help manage pain. Often I would walk into the patient's room and say, "Hello, my name is Doug (easily verifiable due to the name tag on my lapel), I'm with the Department of Surgery (also on the tag), and I'm here to help you with your pain." The two verifiably true statements set up the following statement to be accepted as true, too. By the way, did you notice that the patient was not in a formal trance at the time?
Some Connecting Words or Phrases:
A. Basic form
B. 'Might notice...as...'
C. 'Might notice how good...feels...as...'
(In many of these patterns it is always a good idea to suggest that they will enjoy whatever they're going to experience)
So now as you read these words and make sense of the material, you can stop and imagine how you will use these language patterns in your professional life.
By the way, as you read these posts regarding Ericksonian Language patterns, and appreciate the persuasive power their use can offer you, consider taking a pad and paper and writing out your own examples that you can actually use in your own life.
As an example, if you're a dentist, write out twenty examples of things you can say to your patients to get them to floss more often. Or to make them feel more comfortable in the dentist chair. Or to get them to come to the dentist every six months for regular check ups.
Find the situations in YOUR life where you desire more influence and write out language patterns IN ADVANCE of the situation so that you can be ready to USE THEM when that situation presents itself.
You'll be glad you did.
In an expanded form, 'Pacing and Leading' can be used as a trance induction in and of itself. The general concept of pacing and leading is central to Erickson's work. You establish a rapport with a person when you pace their experience.
In this language pattern, you make note of true, experiential facts (or 'wonder' about them) then connect them with a suggestion. Salesmen might say that you are setting up a 'yes' frame. People will tend to go with the flow of affirmative responses.
I used this pattern frequently when I used to work at New York's Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital's Department of Complementary Medicine. I was there as a Hypnotherapist to assist people in feeling better about their operations, facilitate healing and recovery, develop new, healthier patterns of living (e.g. becoming a non-smoker) and to help manage pain. Often I would walk into the patient's room and say, "Hello, my name is Doug (easily verifiable due to the name tag on my lapel), I'm with the Department of Surgery (also on the tag), and I'm here to help you with your pain." The two verifiably true statements set up the following statement to be accepted as true, too. By the way, did you notice that the patient was not in a formal trance at the time?
Some Connecting Words or Phrases:
and, as, while, so, since, you can also, like, at the same time, such as, begin to, meanwhile, being, as you know, also, then, etc.
A. Basic form
"You can feel the chair, you can feel your feet on the floor, you can hear the sound of my voice, and drift off into a nice, comfortable trance."
B. 'Might notice...as...'
"You might notice the sensations in your hands as you being to drift deeper into trance."
C. 'Might notice how good...feels...as...'
(In many of these patterns it is always a good idea to suggest that they will enjoy whatever they're going to experience)
"You might notice how good it feels to relax deeply as you close your eyes and breathe comfortably."
So now as you read these words and make sense of the material, you can stop and imagine how you will use these language patterns in your professional life.
By the way, as you read these posts regarding Ericksonian Language patterns, and appreciate the persuasive power their use can offer you, consider taking a pad and paper and writing out your own examples that you can actually use in your own life.
As an example, if you're a dentist, write out twenty examples of things you can say to your patients to get them to floss more often. Or to make them feel more comfortable in the dentist chair. Or to get them to come to the dentist every six months for regular check ups.
Find the situations in YOUR life where you desire more influence and write out language patterns IN ADVANCE of the situation so that you can be ready to USE THEM when that situation presents itself.
You'll be glad you did.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Traveling Hypnosis Medicine Show
View from the balcony of the Camelot Hotel at Myrtle Beach, SC.
Perhaps the most amazing thing about working for John Morgan Seminars and traveling the country and doing 2 hour Hypnosis programs for weight loss and smoking cessation is that they actually work. Years ago I taught, in my hypnosis classes, of the superiority of private sessions because they were tailored to the individual. Basically I thought that large scale group hypnosis did not work and was essentially a rip off.
I was wrong.
For some people I believe group hypnosis programs work better than private sessions because of the added leverage of public commitment. Maybe, in some or even most cases, individual sessions might work even better, but I've discovered that when done right, large scale, group hypnosis does work. I get feedback about it all the time. Like just last week, we were putting on a program at the convention center in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. A few hours before the seminar we were setting up the room and a gentleman stuck his head in the door and said Hello. He told us he'd been to our event in Parkersburg, WV, a few weeks earlier and was now 20 days smoke free and didn't even have any urges. He was here in Myrtle Beach at a convention for his industry and when he saw our sign felt compelled to come over and talk to us. He was extremely grateful and just wanted us to know. He said it was the best $69.95 he'd ever spent.
How cool is that?
Fact is our percentage of successful quitters is dizzingly high. I am sure the weight loss folk have a tougher time of achieving their goals but they do well too. What's great about it is that for most people attending these things, they have little or no prior experience with this sort of change work or even this sort of thinking. It really is quite revolutionary for them.
Credit goes to John Morgan for creating these most excellent 2 hour seminars. They utilize a variety of techniques to assist in people getting the change they desire... from traditional hypnosis to Ericksonian patterns to NLP anchoring techniques. I met John years ago at a Dave Dobson "Funshop" and he really put Dave's lessons to work, especially that "Pebble Kicking" thing we talked about a couple of weeks ago.
Me, I get to travel around, feel good about helping people, and stay in nice hotels like the one pictured. Plus, I can now order at Applebees without the need of a menu.
Does life get any better than that?
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Negative Commands/Suggestions
Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns
Negative Commands/Suggestions
Before we look further at this category of language pattern a quick word...
By the term "Negative Suggestion" we don't mean something nasty. We're not in the business of suggesting negative things to people, like suggesting to someone that their nose will fall off.
What we're instead doing is giving a positive suggestion hidden within something that sounds like you're not saying that.
Confused? Great. So glad I could help.
Maybe this will be better...
The brain doesn't compute negations. If you say to someone, "Don't think of the color purple," what do you suppose they begin to think about? What color are you thinking about? So you can direct your listener's attention by saying "don't do" exactly what you'd like them to do.
This is another great way to avoid resistance. (Note also that in this example we have sacrificed correct grammar so the sake of a good command.)
Now, I wouldn't tell you to write your own examples, because as you discover your best way of learning, you'll know the best way to learn is by doing. Write them out. Practice. Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift.
I could tell you to go out there and use them, but I know you'd rather see for yourself.
Negative Commands/Suggestions
Before we look further at this category of language pattern a quick word...
By the term "Negative Suggestion" we don't mean something nasty. We're not in the business of suggesting negative things to people, like suggesting to someone that their nose will fall off.
What we're instead doing is giving a positive suggestion hidden within something that sounds like you're not saying that.
Confused? Great. So glad I could help.
Maybe this will be better...
The brain doesn't compute negations. If you say to someone, "Don't think of the color purple," what do you suppose they begin to think about? What color are you thinking about? So you can direct your listener's attention by saying "don't do" exactly what you'd like them to do.
A. Don't _____too quickly (or too soon)...
"Don't use these language patterns too soon to empower others now.
"Don't go into a trance too quickly, Monde."
B. I wouldn't tell you to _______, because...
(more about the word 'because' in future entries.)
"I wouldn't tell you to practice these patterns everyday, because you might just get too good.'
"I wouldn't tell you to go into a trance now, because it's important for you to discover for yourself how quickly or slowly is right for you."
C. I could tell you that_____ but...
"I could tell you that learn these patterns will be far easier and fun than you probably imagine, but I would rather let you enjoy that discovery yourself."
This is another great way to avoid resistance. (Note also that in this example we have sacrificed correct grammar so the sake of a good command.)
Now, I wouldn't tell you to write your own examples, because as you discover your best way of learning, you'll know the best way to learn is by doing. Write them out. Practice. Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift.
I could tell you to go out there and use them, but I know you'd rather see for yourself.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Pebble Kicking
Neo-Ericksonian Approaches to Psychotherapy & Hypnosis
One of the major principles of doing therapeutic work I learned from Dave Dobson is the idea of "Pebble Kicking."
What is Pebble Kicking? Well, I'm reminded of a story. Actually, a couple of stories.
The first story is about a Spiritual Teacher who was walking with one of his disciples along the banks of a river on their way to a hootenanny. (That might not be the correct term for a gathering of spiritual types, but you know what I mean.)
Along their way they came upon a group of young kids who were skipping stones into the river. The teacher, never one to pass up an opportunity to teach young boys a lesson, produced from the pocket of his robes a beautiful stone. It was perfect in every way. Gorgeous color, gorgeous shine, with a rounded flat surface perfect for skipping.
The boys oohed and ahhed over it like it was a precious gem. Then, without saying a word, the teacher turned and threw the rock over the water in a low arc that caused it to skip more than a dozen times before it slipped into the water and disappeared.
The boys were incredulous that he would throw away such a beautiful stone and stood dumbfounded for a moment. The teacher was about to start speaking about the lesson to be learned here, but before he got a word out, the boys all started speaking at once, asking if they found it, could they keep it. The teacher chuckled, thinking they'd soon see the futility of this quest, and said "yes, I suppose so, but..." and with that they all ran into the water and began diving down trying to find the stone. After watching them for a few minutes they continued on their way, leaving the boys to their task.
Hours later, as the men were returning from their journey, they came to the place where the stone skipping had taken place. There remained just one boy still diving into the waves. Amazingly, just as the men arrived at the spot, the boy surfaced excitedly with the stone in his hand! "I found it! I found it! Can I really keep it?"
The teacher smiled warmly and said. "Yes, of course. It now belongs to you. You have earned it."
The child ran off totally thrilled as the disciple looked at the teacher and said, "That was your lesson all along wasn't it? You wanted to teach them the value of perseverance and hard work."
The teacher blushed and said, "No, not at all. The lesson I had intended was one of the transience of material things, and that everything, even the most beautiful rock, was temporal in nature. But I guess the lesson of perseverance was the one he needed to learn."
The second story is of New York based Psychotherapist and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist, Susan Lee Bady. She was delivering a talk to NYSEPH (New York Society for Ericksonian Psychotherapy and Hypnosis) regarding the integration of Ericksonian Hypnotic techniques with traditional hypnotic techniques.
She described a situation with a client who had cancer. She ascertained what his condition was and what he was hoping to gain from his session with her. With this information she began to weave a beautiful therapeutic metaphor rich with imagery of undersea gardens, dolphins and peaceful, healing suggestions. After she finished her story and reoriented him to waking consciousness, she asked him how he felt. He told he that, while he found her words very nice and agreeable, he was really hoping she'd say something about how he was going to be fine and heal from the cancer. So she said, "OK, close your eyes. Drift back to the undersea garden. Feel the healing energy there and know that that means you are going to be fine and heal from the cancer."
At this point she saw him take a deep breath and relax comfortably.
She continued her talk by reporting that he responded well to their session and was recovering from cancer, so that meant that that direct hypnotic suggestion she had offered him, using his words exactly, really did the trick.
Just then a hand went up in the front row. Dr. Sydney Rosen had a question. Now, at NYSEPH, Dr. Rosen is a revered figure, as well he should be. He has served as their President, is a respected Psychotherapist and is the author of "My Voice Will Go With You," a collection of Milton Erickson's therapeutic metaphors, so when Sydney Rosen raises his hand at a NYSEPH meeting, you can be sure people respond.
Susan called on him. "Yes, Sydney?"
"How do you know?" was his somewhat vague question.
"I beg your pardon?"
"How do you know that it was the direct suggestion that did the trick and not your beautiful and rich metaphor? Just because his conscious mind found it agreeable to hear those words doesn't mean that his unconscious mind didn't create the healing based on your metaphor. I mean, how would you know?"
Susan had to agree. (Wouldn't you?)
Dr. Dave Dobson once said that what we are, as therapists, is pebble kickers. When we're doing therapy with someone, we're like some person standing on top of a mountain kicking pebbles. Many times, maybe most times, these pebbles don't make too much of an impact. Perhaps they'll just skitter down the slope a bit and stop.
But every now and again one of those pebbles will kick off some accumulated pebbles, and they'll collectively kick over some rocks and they'll kick over some boulders and pretty soon you've changed the whole face of the mountain.
Thing is, you never know which pebble's going do it. You just keep kicking pebbles until you see that the change has taken place.
Dr. Milton Erickson once said, "My learning over the years was that I tried to direct things too much. It took me a long time to let things develop and make use of things as they develop." (Erickson, 1976, pg.267)
One of the major principles of doing therapeutic work I learned from Dave Dobson is the idea of "Pebble Kicking."
What is Pebble Kicking? Well, I'm reminded of a story. Actually, a couple of stories.
The first story is about a Spiritual Teacher who was walking with one of his disciples along the banks of a river on their way to a hootenanny. (That might not be the correct term for a gathering of spiritual types, but you know what I mean.)
Along their way they came upon a group of young kids who were skipping stones into the river. The teacher, never one to pass up an opportunity to teach young boys a lesson, produced from the pocket of his robes a beautiful stone. It was perfect in every way. Gorgeous color, gorgeous shine, with a rounded flat surface perfect for skipping.
The boys oohed and ahhed over it like it was a precious gem. Then, without saying a word, the teacher turned and threw the rock over the water in a low arc that caused it to skip more than a dozen times before it slipped into the water and disappeared.
The boys were incredulous that he would throw away such a beautiful stone and stood dumbfounded for a moment. The teacher was about to start speaking about the lesson to be learned here, but before he got a word out, the boys all started speaking at once, asking if they found it, could they keep it. The teacher chuckled, thinking they'd soon see the futility of this quest, and said "yes, I suppose so, but..." and with that they all ran into the water and began diving down trying to find the stone. After watching them for a few minutes they continued on their way, leaving the boys to their task.
Hours later, as the men were returning from their journey, they came to the place where the stone skipping had taken place. There remained just one boy still diving into the waves. Amazingly, just as the men arrived at the spot, the boy surfaced excitedly with the stone in his hand! "I found it! I found it! Can I really keep it?"
The teacher smiled warmly and said. "Yes, of course. It now belongs to you. You have earned it."
The child ran off totally thrilled as the disciple looked at the teacher and said, "That was your lesson all along wasn't it? You wanted to teach them the value of perseverance and hard work."
The teacher blushed and said, "No, not at all. The lesson I had intended was one of the transience of material things, and that everything, even the most beautiful rock, was temporal in nature. But I guess the lesson of perseverance was the one he needed to learn."
The second story is of New York based Psychotherapist and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist, Susan Lee Bady. She was delivering a talk to NYSEPH (New York Society for Ericksonian Psychotherapy and Hypnosis) regarding the integration of Ericksonian Hypnotic techniques with traditional hypnotic techniques.
She described a situation with a client who had cancer. She ascertained what his condition was and what he was hoping to gain from his session with her. With this information she began to weave a beautiful therapeutic metaphor rich with imagery of undersea gardens, dolphins and peaceful, healing suggestions. After she finished her story and reoriented him to waking consciousness, she asked him how he felt. He told he that, while he found her words very nice and agreeable, he was really hoping she'd say something about how he was going to be fine and heal from the cancer. So she said, "OK, close your eyes. Drift back to the undersea garden. Feel the healing energy there and know that that means you are going to be fine and heal from the cancer."
At this point she saw him take a deep breath and relax comfortably.
She continued her talk by reporting that he responded well to their session and was recovering from cancer, so that meant that that direct hypnotic suggestion she had offered him, using his words exactly, really did the trick.
Just then a hand went up in the front row. Dr. Sydney Rosen had a question. Now, at NYSEPH, Dr. Rosen is a revered figure, as well he should be. He has served as their President, is a respected Psychotherapist and is the author of "My Voice Will Go With You," a collection of Milton Erickson's therapeutic metaphors, so when Sydney Rosen raises his hand at a NYSEPH meeting, you can be sure people respond.
Susan called on him. "Yes, Sydney?"
"How do you know?" was his somewhat vague question.
"I beg your pardon?"
"How do you know that it was the direct suggestion that did the trick and not your beautiful and rich metaphor? Just because his conscious mind found it agreeable to hear those words doesn't mean that his unconscious mind didn't create the healing based on your metaphor. I mean, how would you know?"
Susan had to agree. (Wouldn't you?)
Dr. Dave Dobson once said that what we are, as therapists, is pebble kickers. When we're doing therapy with someone, we're like some person standing on top of a mountain kicking pebbles. Many times, maybe most times, these pebbles don't make too much of an impact. Perhaps they'll just skitter down the slope a bit and stop.
But every now and again one of those pebbles will kick off some accumulated pebbles, and they'll collectively kick over some rocks and they'll kick over some boulders and pretty soon you've changed the whole face of the mountain.
Thing is, you never know which pebble's going do it. You just keep kicking pebbles until you see that the change has taken place.
Dr. Milton Erickson once said, "My learning over the years was that I tried to direct things too much. It took me a long time to let things develop and make use of things as they develop." (Erickson, 1976, pg.267)
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tag Questions
Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns
Tag Questions —
are little questions added on to the end of a statement that change it into a question. They are also referred to as "tie downs." Tag Questions are similar to the previous pattern the "Resistance Dodge," but different.
Tonality is again a HUGE component in the same way we talked in the earlier post entitled: "Patterns of Indirect Suggestion." If you lift the pitch of your voice at the end of the sentence, it is heard as a question. Tag questions are, of course, questions, I know, but they are responded to as a question when you lift your pitch upwards like a question. Specifically meaning the person tends to go inside their mind and search around to find whether they agree or not. Conversely, if you drop your vocal pitch toward the end of the sentence, it is responded to as a command. The listener will tend to do less internal processing and simply agree.
Do it for yourself and see what I mean.
Say the above examples first with the question tonal shift up and then with the command tonal shift downward. Notice the difference.
(Now do this: read the last two sentences aloud, starting with "Say the above...", and as you say the last sentence lift the pitch of your voice upwards at the end so it sounds like a question. "Notice the difference?"
And then say those two sentences again but drop the pitch of your voice right at the end so it sounds like a command, "Notice the DIFFERENCE."
Can you begin to appreciate the vast difference that makes?
There are times when you WANT the question effect and other times when you want the command effect. Notice what happens in your own mind when you hear them in the different ways. Imagine when and how those differences will be useful.
Time Shifts
You can also use tag questions to very subtly shift time perception.
In the following example how I begin by pacing the client's experience, use a tag question to shift the time frame of the client's issue from the present to the past... and then utilize tag questions to shift the focus:
Many people enjoy changing the time frame from present to the past, or past to future, etc, haven't they? Won't you?
Now, write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write them out. Practice. Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift.
Write at least ten and then use them. Use them on salesmen, use them on your children, use them with clients or your boss. Just go out there and use them! See for yourself. And remember, when you use them you own them, don't you?
Tag Questions —
are little questions added on to the end of a statement that change it into a question. They are also referred to as "tie downs." Tag Questions are similar to the previous pattern the "Resistance Dodge," but different.
Rather than dodging resistance, with tag questions you are endeavoring to get agreement, aren't you?
They soften a statement into a question, don't they?
They can be very useful, or they can be overdone and obnoxious, can they not?
Tonality is again a HUGE component in the same way we talked in the earlier post entitled: "Patterns of Indirect Suggestion." If you lift the pitch of your voice at the end of the sentence, it is heard as a question. Tag questions are, of course, questions, I know, but they are responded to as a question when you lift your pitch upwards like a question. Specifically meaning the person tends to go inside their mind and search around to find whether they agree or not. Conversely, if you drop your vocal pitch toward the end of the sentence, it is responded to as a command. The listener will tend to do less internal processing and simply agree.
Do it for yourself and see what I mean.
Say the above examples first with the question tonal shift up and then with the command tonal shift downward. Notice the difference.
(Now do this: read the last two sentences aloud, starting with "Say the above...", and as you say the last sentence lift the pitch of your voice upwards at the end so it sounds like a question. "Notice the difference?"
And then say those two sentences again but drop the pitch of your voice right at the end so it sounds like a command, "Notice the DIFFERENCE."
Can you begin to appreciate the vast difference that makes?
There are times when you WANT the question effect and other times when you want the command effect. Notice what happens in your own mind when you hear them in the different ways. Imagine when and how those differences will be useful.
Time Shifts
You can also use tag questions to very subtly shift time perception.
In the following example how I begin by pacing the client's experience, use a tag question to shift the time frame of the client's issue from the present to the past... and then utilize tag questions to shift the focus:
"Yes, that is a terrible problem, wasn't it? It's nice to be getting some distance from it, haven't you?"
Many people enjoy changing the time frame from present to the past, or past to future, etc, haven't they? Won't you?
Now, write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write them out. Practice. Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift.
Write at least ten and then use them. Use them on salesmen, use them on your children, use them with clients or your boss. Just go out there and use them! See for yourself. And remember, when you use them you own them, don't you?
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Resistance (is Futile)
Ericksonian Language Patterns
This installment features two different ways of dancing with resistance. In the pattern I call "The Resistance Dodge," when your client exhibits resistance you offer a tag statement that is really a bind. Stops them in their proverbial tracks.
With the "Resistance Pace" you use their resistance the way an Aikido expert would use an opponent's own weight.
The Resistance Dodge — After an Embedded Command add the tag, "or not." This is particularly effective when you time your delivery to when you see the resistance begin to show in their physical affect. You'll be pacing them and dispelling resistance at the same time.
The Resistance Pace
The word "try" has failure virtually presupposed. ("Gee Dad, I tried") So telling a person to Try to resist your request implies that they may try but they will fail.
To your child:
So, now, you might want to take a minute and write your own examples. I have often found that the best way to learn is by doing. Don't you agree? Or Not.
Write at least ten examples you could actually use with a client or someone else.
Then practice using them in real life.
Use them on salesmen:
Of course, you can and should combine them with the patterns we've already gone over. They work beautifully together:
Have fun. Be respectful.
This installment features two different ways of dancing with resistance. In the pattern I call "The Resistance Dodge," when your client exhibits resistance you offer a tag statement that is really a bind. Stops them in their proverbial tracks.
With the "Resistance Pace" you use their resistance the way an Aikido expert would use an opponent's own weight.
The Resistance Dodge — After an Embedded Command add the tag, "or not." This is particularly effective when you time your delivery to when you see the resistance begin to show in their physical affect. You'll be pacing them and dispelling resistance at the same time.
"I'm wondering if you will accept this embedded command...or not."
"And as you read these words you fully appreciate how you can use these...or not...yet... you can."
The Resistance Pace
The word "try" has failure virtually presupposed. ("Gee Dad, I tried") So telling a person to Try to resist your request implies that they may try but they will fail.
"Try to resist the deepening experience of comfort and relaxation as you listen to my voice."
To your child:
"Try to keep your eyes open as you listen to this bedtime story."
So, now, you might want to take a minute and write your own examples. I have often found that the best way to learn is by doing. Don't you agree? Or Not.
Write at least ten examples you could actually use with a client or someone else.
Then practice using them in real life.
Use them on salesmen:
"How great that you will give me the lowest price ever... or not."
Of course, you can and should combine them with the patterns we've already gone over. They work beautifully together:
"How great that you will give me the lowest price ever... or not. I wonder how soon you'll know you can do that."
Have fun. Be respectful.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Suggestions Orienting towards the Future
Ericksonian Language Patterns
Milton Erickson once likened traditional psychotherapy to “psychological archeology.” He didn't see much point in spending too much time analysing a patient's past and trying to find out the reasons "why" they were displaying certain behaviors. He saw these behaviors as habits. I like to call them patterns. He told stories to illustrate his point, sometimes evoking his early life on the farm and lessons learned thereon. As an example, he might describe how, on the farm, he learned that when you shovel the waste from the animal stalls you put it out behind the barn and cover it over with straw. And you quickly learn not to go poking around back there. You let the hay lay.
Thus, in Ericksonian hypnosis we spend more effort orienting clients toward the future and towards solutions.
You can indirectly get your client to visualize or otherwise imagine the future via most of these collected patterns, and the following openings are useful:
Here are some complete examples (remember the words in bold are said with your tonal shift):
You could even join a few together, as in the following:
So, now, write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write
them out. Practice. Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift.
(See July 19th's post if you need more clarity on that) Write at least ten. Twenty is
better. You probably already know that you can utilize the few sentence
openings offered on this page and then go from there.
Use them on teachers: "How nice will it feel when you give me a high grade?"
Use them on newsboys: "Can you imagine how grateful I’ll be when you place
the paper safely on the front porch tomorrow morning?”
Use them on your spouse, your teammates, your party members, your clients.
Use them playfully and respectfully.
Isn't it nice to know you can do both at the same time?
Milton Erickson once likened traditional psychotherapy to “psychological archeology.” He didn't see much point in spending too much time analysing a patient's past and trying to find out the reasons "why" they were displaying certain behaviors. He saw these behaviors as habits. I like to call them patterns. He told stories to illustrate his point, sometimes evoking his early life on the farm and lessons learned thereon. As an example, he might describe how, on the farm, he learned that when you shovel the waste from the animal stalls you put it out behind the barn and cover it over with straw. And you quickly learn not to go poking around back there. You let the hay lay.
Thus, in Ericksonian hypnosis we spend more effort orienting clients toward the future and towards solutions.
You can indirectly get your client to visualize or otherwise imagine the future via most of these collected patterns, and the following openings are useful:
“You may not know if… “
“What happens when you…”
“How would it feel if you…”
“Can you imagine… “
“You probably already know… ”
Here are some complete examples (remember the words in bold are said with your tonal shift):
“You may not know if you will go into a deep trance when I count to ten.”
“What happens when you learn new ways of responding?”
“How would it feel to close your eyes and drift into a very comfortable
trance…now?”
You could even join a few together, as in the following:
“You may not know if you’ll really enjoy the feeling of control that comes when
you quit smoking, but can you imagine what you would do at the office tomorrow
as a non-smoker?”
So, now, write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write
them out. Practice. Say them aloud to a human being with the proper tonal shift.
(See July 19th's post if you need more clarity on that) Write at least ten. Twenty is
better. You probably already know that you can utilize the few sentence
openings offered on this page and then go from there.
Use them on teachers: "How nice will it feel when you give me a high grade?"
Use them on newsboys: "Can you imagine how grateful I’ll be when you place
the paper safely on the front porch tomorrow morning?”
Use them on your spouse, your teammates, your party members, your clients.
Use them playfully and respectfully.
Isn't it nice to know you can do both at the same time?
Monday, August 4, 2008
Embedded Questions
Ericksonian Language Patterns —
Embedded Questions are the same thing as embedded commands only different. They are often really statements but are responded to consciously as a question. This is because their grammatical structure is that of a question, but your tonality in delivering them is that of a command. (In most examples below I'll omit the question mark.)
"I wonder if you can tell the difference."
"I'm curious as to how you will be able to use embedded questions in your life."
Notice the implied question in the sentence openings, "I'm wondering if... I'm curious as to..." etc.
(Remember that without shifts in tonality, etc., there is no command at all. You must shift your tonality in a way that is noticeable and analogous to a command. You are telling them to DO something.)
A. Adding their Name
Just as in embedded commands, embedded questions can be made more powerful if you insert their name into the sentence structure just before (or after ) the embedded command.
"I wonder if one can, Elizabeth, feel comfortable in new situations."
"Do you think it's possible that a person could, Phillip, notice a growing sense of distance from one's problems."
"Can you, listen intently, Bob, to everything that I say?"
B. "Now"
Again, "now" is not a magic word. And, in the same way we talked about them for embedded commands, you can use them for embedded questions.
"Is it possible you might want to enjoy that meaningful pause . . . now."
So, now, write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write them. Practice saying them out loud with the proper tonal shift. Practice delivering them to a human being. Write at least ten. Twenty is better. I wonder if you'll find that you utilize the few sentence openings offered on this page and then go from there.
Do you think you could use them on waitresses? "I wonder if you could bring me a cup of coffee."
Could you use them on bus drivers? "I was curious if you would be able to... let me out at the corner."
Wouldn't it be fun to use them on your kids, your friends, your clients, your customers?
What level of facility would you develop if you were to use them, courteously, and enjoy the process?
Friday, July 25, 2008
Embedded Commands
Ericksonian Language Patterns —
Embedded Commands are commands that are placed within the framework of a larger sentence structure, thereby sneaking by the conscious mind. e.g., "Very often, people find that they discover many useful inner resources while in trance." Some suggested sentence openings: "Maybe you'll... I don't know if... A person may not know if... Maybe you haven't...,yet." (More about that yet soon, but not yet.)
Notice that the command part itself starts with a verb. You are telling the person to DO something. Here and now. So that verb tense is the present tense. "Do something." Not "doing something" or "did something."
If you were to tell someone directly to go to the store, you'd say
"Go to the store."To embed that command within a longer sentence and thus hide it a bit it might be more like,
"If anyone here wanted to be a dear, they could go to the store for me now."
Here are some more examples:
"Maybe you'll discover new resources you didn't even know you had."
"I don't know if you'll feel wonderful about it."
"A person may not know if you're drifting into trance." (includes a pattern called switching the referential index.)
"Maybe you haven't begun to enjoy that delightful feeling of trance, yet."
A. Adding their Name
These commands can be made more powerful if you insert their name into the sentence structure just before the embedded command.
"One can, Elizabeth, feel comfortable in new situations."
"A person could, Phillip, notice a growing sense of distance from that problem."
"People don't have to, Bob, listen intently to everything that I say."
B. "Now"
"Now" is not a magic word. Sometimes beginning NLP students over use 'now.' Used effectively, it can enhance an embedded command, but it alone does not an embedded command make. Often the most effective way to use it is to... pause... before you use it and then use your best trance tonality when you say it. (If you run it into the sentence without this pause it can make the sentence sound too imperative and the person feel rushed.)
"You might want to learn to enjoy that meaningful pause . . . now."
(Remember that without shifts in tonality, etc., there is no command at all. You must shift your tonality in a way that is noticeable and analogous to a command, right at the verb of the sentence. You are telling them to DO something.
Additionally, it is most useful to pause just a beat before the command. This further sets it apart in a very subtle, yet effective, way)
So, now, here's an idea: Write your own examples. The best way to learn is by doing. Write them down and then practice saying them out loud with the proper tonal shift. Practice delivering them to a human being. Write at least ten. Twenty is better. Perhaps you'll find that you utilize the eight sentence openings offered on this page and then go from there.
Use them on waitresses: "You might find you want to bring me a cup of coffee."
on bus drivers: "People can... let me out at the corner."
Be Respectful AND Have Fun.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Ericksonian Language Patterns
Patterns of Indirect Suggestion – A.K.A.: Ericksonian Language Patterns
In a therapeutic setting we strive to achieve the client's goals with elegance. Sometimes, however, change is difficult and resistance, conscious or otherwise, is a natural response. By using the following language patterns we are able to bypass the conscious resistance and to communicate with the subconscious mind.
Milton Erickson was famous for his therapeutic metaphors. He would elicit hypnotic responses in his clients or direct their thinking by telling them a story. He wasn't alone. Like Aesop's fables, the parables of Jesus, and Greek myths, stories can teach us and direct us with their implicit, indirect suggestions.
Milton's stories, however, were told in a manner that utilized a sophisticated understanding of how the listener's subconscious would hear them. His use of these language patterns and vocal tonality to slip suggestions past the listener's conscious critical mind is sometimes referred to as "covert hypnosis." We take issue with this representation. This artful use of language cannot rightly be called covert when used in a clinical setting. The client has come to you for treatment and is paying for all of your expertise. Using Hypnosis covertly, like in a bar to seduce someone, is something Dr. Erickson would neither do nor advocate.
A direct suggestion is really a command. It tends to be evaluated by the conscious mind and may be rejected at the outset. Indirect suggestions are like a Trojan horse that slips past the gates and guard towers of the conscious mind and carries good suggestions embedded within. Hence the term, "embedded command." [ As an example, "You will feel confident," is a direct suggestion. As opposed to the Indirect Suggestion: "I'm wondering how it is when you feel confident ."]
Note: Words in bold are to be said utilizing a shift in your tonality and/or physiology. This is referred to as "Analogue Marking" because the shift in tonality and body gestures are analogous to that of a command. An Embedded Command can be marked out in a variety of ways. A louder voice, a softer voice, a change of vocal timbre, pausing just before the particular phrase, a hand gesture, a shift of eye focus onto the subject, etc. But, whatever way the phrase is marked out must be analogous to a command. You are telling them to do something and it must be clear to their other-than-conscious what they are to do.
I should like to point out that without these shifts in tonality, etc., there is no command at all. You must shift your tonality in a way that is noticeable. Regardless of whether or not the listener pays attention to it consciously, it has to exist. Sometimes people think they are shifting their tonality and are not really doing so. Generally speaking, you can err on the side of exaggeration quite safely. Richard Bandler is sometimes almost comical in his broad way of delivering the commands, yet they unfailingly work.
Speaking of tonality that is analogous to a command, in natural English language a change of inflection can change the meaning of a sentence entirely. As in the sentence, "You are going to the proms." If you were to use a lifting of your tonality at the end of the sentence it becomes a question. “You are going to the proms?" (Say it aloud and listen to it.)
With flat tonality it is a simple statement. “You are going to the proms." (Say it and listen...)
When you shift your tonality downwards at the end of the sentence it becomes a command. “You are going to the proms."
(Go ahead, say it. Say it with the downward inflected tonality and listen to how it sounds.)
Thus: In communication in general and in Hypnosis in particular, tonality is primary.
In a therapeutic setting we strive to achieve the client's goals with elegance. Sometimes, however, change is difficult and resistance, conscious or otherwise, is a natural response. By using the following language patterns we are able to bypass the conscious resistance and to communicate with the subconscious mind.
Milton Erickson was famous for his therapeutic metaphors. He would elicit hypnotic responses in his clients or direct their thinking by telling them a story. He wasn't alone. Like Aesop's fables, the parables of Jesus, and Greek myths, stories can teach us and direct us with their implicit, indirect suggestions.
Milton's stories, however, were told in a manner that utilized a sophisticated understanding of how the listener's subconscious would hear them. His use of these language patterns and vocal tonality to slip suggestions past the listener's conscious critical mind is sometimes referred to as "covert hypnosis." We take issue with this representation. This artful use of language cannot rightly be called covert when used in a clinical setting. The client has come to you for treatment and is paying for all of your expertise. Using Hypnosis covertly, like in a bar to seduce someone, is something Dr. Erickson would neither do nor advocate.
A direct suggestion is really a command. It tends to be evaluated by the conscious mind and may be rejected at the outset. Indirect suggestions are like a Trojan horse that slips past the gates and guard towers of the conscious mind and carries good suggestions embedded within. Hence the term, "embedded command." [ As an example, "You will feel confident," is a direct suggestion. As opposed to the Indirect Suggestion: "I'm wondering how it is when you feel confident ."]
Note: Words in bold are to be said utilizing a shift in your tonality and/or physiology. This is referred to as "Analogue Marking" because the shift in tonality and body gestures are analogous to that of a command. An Embedded Command can be marked out in a variety of ways. A louder voice, a softer voice, a change of vocal timbre, pausing just before the particular phrase, a hand gesture, a shift of eye focus onto the subject, etc. But, whatever way the phrase is marked out must be analogous to a command. You are telling them to do something and it must be clear to their other-than-conscious what they are to do.
I should like to point out that without these shifts in tonality, etc., there is no command at all. You must shift your tonality in a way that is noticeable. Regardless of whether or not the listener pays attention to it consciously, it has to exist. Sometimes people think they are shifting their tonality and are not really doing so. Generally speaking, you can err on the side of exaggeration quite safely. Richard Bandler is sometimes almost comical in his broad way of delivering the commands, yet they unfailingly work.
Speaking of tonality that is analogous to a command, in natural English language a change of inflection can change the meaning of a sentence entirely. As in the sentence, "You are going to the proms." If you were to use a lifting of your tonality at the end of the sentence it becomes a question. “You are going to the proms?" (Say it aloud and listen to it.)
With flat tonality it is a simple statement. “You are going to the proms." (Say it and listen...)
When you shift your tonality downwards at the end of the sentence it becomes a command. “You are going to the proms."
(Go ahead, say it. Say it with the downward inflected tonality and listen to how it sounds.)
Thus: In communication in general and in Hypnosis in particular, tonality is primary.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Mowing the Lawn
I have an acre of lawn to cut.
That's a lot of grass
Last weekend, when I spent several hours on the endeavor, I discovered that mindless, repetitious activities are made even better when done at high decibel levels. Nothing like a Toro Lawn Horse if you want to wake the neighbors.
I was reminded of the story of Milton Erickson in the Boiler Factory - how he realized that he had somehow, overnight, learned to communicate in that din without shouting - just like the long-time workers in the factory. I guess we can get used to anything.
But then I remembered a story by Gangaji, a spiritual teacher, who said that when she was in India learning from her guru, one of the other students complained that meditation was hard for him because he lived above a 24 hour auto-body shop.
The Guru asked other students what they thought about the complaint. They went around the room and all did their best to offer sage advice. Gangaji herself offered the opinion that he should find the eternal silence that is always there within us. The Guru said, yes, those were all good ideas and asked if they now wanted to hear his advice?
They said yes, of course.
The Guru looked at the young man and said, "Move! Find another apartment in a quieter part of town."
I'd have gone one step further and suggested, while he's at it, find a place with a lot of lawn.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Trance Voice Down-Under
Just returned from my first ever visit to Australia.
What a fantastic visit!
My friend Jonathan and I went down to teach a class called "Your Irresistible Voice in Trance." It is a class that combines Jonathan's expertise in Voice Production with my understanding of Ericksonian Language patterns and how to use the voice when doing trance work.
We had a delightful time working with truly wonderful people.
We spent all our time in Melbourne, where the class was held. To say I've been to Australia is like a flea landing on the tip of a dog's tail and saying it has visitied Dog. Next time I do hope to see and experience more.
Met a guy who came over to check it out and has been there nine years so far.
I couldn't afford that.
But I really liked it there.
First, it's just like here only different.
Second, there are really nice people there.
Third, there are different stars (weird)
Forth, there are different animals (kangaroos are only the beginning)
Fifth, they speak a variation on English called "Australian"
Sixth, the drive on the wrong side of the road, which seems to make sense since they are on the underside of the planet. Not like England.
;)
Anyway - this is my longest blog post yet.
I'm not sure I've found my Irresistible Voice in Blog yet, but like the Skippys - this is only the beginning.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Winged-Face guy
It's pretty groovy what these kids can do these days.
See the neat looking winged-face guy?
Who knew? That's Hypnos. The Greek God of sleep.
I hire this young friend of mine to make my new blog look pretty and he comes up with guy they named Hypnosis after. I didn't even know there was such a guy. I'd been taught that hypnosis was the Greek word for sleep. I like it better that we have our own God.
He's cute.
Love the symbolic nature of the winged face.
Very cool.
Well done, Phillip.
Kids.
See the neat looking winged-face guy?
Who knew? That's Hypnos. The Greek God of sleep.
I hire this young friend of mine to make my new blog look pretty and he comes up with guy they named Hypnosis after. I didn't even know there was such a guy. I'd been taught that hypnosis was the Greek word for sleep. I like it better that we have our own God.
He's cute.
Love the symbolic nature of the winged face.
Very cool.
Well done, Phillip.
Kids.
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